Of Ads and Cocktail Parties

Imagine you're at a cocktail party. The host introduces you to someone you've never met. What do you do?

Do you:

1. Start talking about how great you are and how much they'll enjoy talking to you?

2. Stand silent and wait for them to talk to you?

3. Start exchanging pleasantries to find some common interests?

Chances are, you start with 3. That's what any person with a modicum of social grace would do, right?

Then why do so many advertisers, many of whom have spent plenty of time at cocktail parties, insist that their ads — often the first meeting between their brands and a new person — ungracefully launch into self-absorbed monologue?

"We made it this way so you can do such and such." "Packed full of X, Y, and Z." "Performs better than Competitor A." Imagine those words coming out of someone's mouth the first time you meet them. A little off-putting, no?

I get it. You paid for the space, and you want to make sure you get your money's worth. You don't know when the budget's going to be cut, so you better say everything you need to say right now. But this kind of approach is taking the short view. For every one person who can see past your boorishness, there may be 5 or 6 who are so turned off they'll never engage with you.

The alternative is to build the relationship slowly. And you do that the same way a skilled conversationalist does — by making the first conversation about them, not you. Reflect on their experiences. Show them that you understand their point of view. Demonstrate that the two of you share common ground.

Then, the next time they meet your brand, they're more likely to have that moment of recognition: "Oh, yeah, that guy! I really enjoyed talking to him."